Tuesday, January 27, 2009
its been soo long !
didn't wanna get started with blogs all but guessed it about time.
i've made plans for myself.
planned how am i gonna live my life.
where am i gonna do that.
it definitely ain't my home.
well mother, I really must apologise to you because:
1) i don't do what u say
2) i don't trust you
3) i made you angry most of the time
4) I'm such a disgrace
5) yeah, i'm a burden too
6) i'm too much to handle.
7) you hate late nights, but i respect it a lot.
8) I'm always making you feel so heart broken
9) i'm wasting your time
10) i'm wasting your money
11) i'm wasting your effort
12) i'm wasting your life.
these are just some of the daily problems i am facing.
mom, i've made up my mind.
i love you a whole lot.
i can do anything you want.
even though i hated banking n finance, i'll still do it.
i'll do it for you. anything!
but just don't take my late nights away.
and my late can be as late as 6am or so.
you keep twisting and turning your words.
breaking your promises.
making it sounded like i was a fool to buy your words.
like i've been tricked.
i've had enough of tryna impress you.
or do shit just to gain trust from you.
these have to stop.
i wanna go out late every single night.
i wanna do that till i'm tired of it then maybe one fine day i'll stop.
i wanna relax .
if im not having fun playing outside, i can't get into the right mood to study.
i'm sorry. i'm like that.
but you've been stopping me and controlling me so tightly.
i can hardly breathe Mrs Tan!
i doubt i can ever live up to your expectations.
you told me to disown u as a mother.
i won't do it.
but if you wanna disown me after what i've done,
i won't blame you.
maybe having sis by your side only will lighten your load.
she's like your everything.
the perfect daughter any mum could ever get.
you don't need me mum.
i'm sure you'll do even better w/o me.
mum, if you ever read these, i'm sorry.
my character is like that.
i can't help it.
your methods aren't working on me.
you asked me b4 ,
what's a good mother ?
is it the one who always let you out till 5-6am everyday ?
i would agree.
cuz at least that mother understands her children.
since they like late nights, they'll have late nights.
as long as we don't get into trouble.
i'm tired mom.
i'm exhausted!
and forever, i'll love you always.
soon , this name Dawn Tan Lilin will slowly fade away from your memories.
-goodbye-
XOXO
11:59:00 PM
